Wednesday, May 2, 2007

forcing myself

last night, as i was putting my kids to bed, my eyes were heavy, my head throbbing. they had been sick with a stomach bug, waking up several times at night, demanding things in half delirious whining self pity. i don't blame them, but i was exhausted. yet i told myself to get up and write. and i did.

at first i stared at the screen. i had an idea for a long story, but i had no stamina to even think about it. i told myself to write something short, even if a paragraph. nothing came to mind. i forced myself to think of an image. i searched my blank mind.

an image came. then sentence by sentence i wrote a flash. i loved how a coherent piece came to life, from a single, fuzzy image. i will need to work on it, but I'm glad i gave myself that chance.

Tonight I wrote another flash.

I think it is important to write everyday, even if my mind seems to be blank at first, even if i'm tired. i seem to be doing better at making myself write first drafts, which are the hardest for me. some of it is just practice.

good night.

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